I feel like we really need to learn how to motivate each other. Why is it so easy to deter someone, yet we feel awkward and silly cheering someone on? I know it isn’t like this for all people, but I have a hard time saying nice things. Granted, I feel as though I act a lot like a guy. I don’t apologize for speaking my mind and I definitely would rather be in the garage with my boyfriend than watching Desperate Housewives.
Is this a guy trait then? Is it incredibly hard for men to keep each other going? No. I can’t even tell you how many times another woman tore me down to make herself feel better. I’m totally guilty of teasing someone about something stupid they did. I like to think I tease myself, too. Stupidity is funny and if I point it out and it hurts your feelings, I apologize. However, when it comes to me, I am the first person to make fun of myself for completely messing up a math problem or tripping.
Well, maybe not the first. I like to laugh at myself. If we were all perfect, our lives would be so dull. I feel as though women are the first to make fun of other women, but men are the first to make fun of other men. However, almost all men do agree on something that is obviously absurd.
They almost all unanimously agree that a woman must prove herself to be smart. Until then, she is stupid. In fact, I think society as a whole sometimes feels this way. Women are silly creatures and only a few are actually smart enough to be considered “not silly”. For example, when we first started dating almost all of my boyfriend’s friends found me adorably clumsy and silly. They found me normal.
However, they soon learned that I wasn’t a complete moron and, like almost all women, I have real thoughts and ideas about the world. They learned that I have very strong opinions about how you should treat women and how you talk about them when they’re not around. They found out that I’m witty and when it comes to trash talking I have them all beat.
This, made me a bitch.
Instead of being adorable and silly I am now annoying and problematic and “hard to get along with” even though I’m literally doing the exact same thing they do to each other. There are few men in the world who are going to treat you like you can observe and learn anything they can. I’m so thankful that my boyfriend understands that just because we’re talking about cars or video games or “man things” doesn’t mean I can’t comprehend what we’re talking about.
What bothers me is that we’re constantly forced to swallow the fact that a man can do makeup better than us or do “girl things” better than us. That’s cool. Why can’t we be better at car things? Or video games? Or God forbid good enough to be paid as much as our male counterparts? WHY do we have to be totally cool with the makeup and hair guys, but then understand that we aren’t allowed to cross certain gender boundaries??
Then, we have other women tearing each other down just to look better in front of men. That’s almost worse in my opinion. Women need to build each other up. If women can’t even look to other women who are they going to lean on? Trust me, self-confidence doesn’t always come from within. In order for a woman to feel valued, they need to know that they actually have value.
Why is it so hard to motive each other? Why can’t we help each other out without gossiping about them to another woman? We spend so much time destroying each other. And for what?? So some random guy might pick you over her? What have we honestly gained? I swear, if you encourage people instead of tearing them down, you’ll become a different person. One nice thing can make someone’s whole day.
The other day, a woman complimented my lipstick. She went on and on about how it matched my glasses and how pretty it was. The good things stick in your mind, but bad things stick in your mind way longer. I can remember every single time a schoolmate called me fat. Every. Single. Time.
Spread kindness and motivation. Help make the world a better place.